What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
