I can text with my tongue
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
