We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
