he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The feeling are messing with the penis
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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