I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
