Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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