I wish you could order shots online.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
