Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
