Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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