12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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