I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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