you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
