there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
