Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
