My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
