she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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