God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
