I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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