my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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