don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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