I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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