When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
