glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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