I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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