the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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