his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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