Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
