you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
