So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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