I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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