I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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