I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize