Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
