You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
