how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
