just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
