i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
