That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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