I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Even my vagina gasped.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
