I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
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