I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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