they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
