I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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