Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
