Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
