the condom got lost in my hair
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
