I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize