I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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