xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize