do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
