Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
