I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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