I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Never underestimate the power of titties
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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