Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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