he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
