My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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