I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
