I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
