Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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