I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
