Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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